Sally standing on TEDx stage

282: How to be Memorable On Stage Series – Part 4: BET AND BETWEEN

Hey, Movers!

Today is part four of the How to Be Memorable on Stage Series!

You know that special ‘thing’ of effortlessness and ease and magic that happens in a talk?

That thing that helps the audience connect and EXPERIENCE the experience? It’s all about the BET and Between!

Links & Resources


Inspiration The between is one of the ways that we cue our audience in that this is something we want them to remember that this is important.




That special thing -creating an experience of what it’s like to be in the audience with that speaker, that thing.

That’s what we’re talking about today. It’s all about the bet and the, between.

So woo. We are here today talking about the BT and the between.

I used to produce events for a nonprofit organization that I worked for.

That’s kind of how I grew up. Professionally was in the nonprofit world. I have a heart for nonprofit work. So important and it’s under appreciated and there’s so much talent sitting in the nonprofit world, but doesn’t often get recognized. And the organization I was working for was an event company. We used to go out and do retreats for kids.

So that’s how I learned to speak. I mean, I’d been trained as a public speaker before that, but going out and doing it in the everyday, like in the real world, that’s how I learned was talking to young people, which is a really incredible way to learn how to become a public speaker. And that’s how I learned how to coach.

I got thrown into coaching right away after giving some feedback to my boss, he’d asked me for feedback. I should point out and I gave him some feedback. And at the end of that session, he said, I want you to work with everybody. By the end of that year, it was part of my job. Part of my job also became writing our events.

They were fundraising events, writing our events and helping work with our speakers at those events. And as a theater person, I have a theater background. I just fell in love with events is such a special art form. It really felt like the coming together of. My love for the stage and my love for theater, the lights down, the excitement, the music, the movement that live audience with speaking, the art form of speaking, and it is such a particular art form.

So it just was where I first really found my purpose and the magic of what these moments can do. And that’s what events are really. And I remember this one particular event, we were just in the throws of chaos, there was so much going on and we were feeling a little behind. It was really harried and, and running around.

And I, and Todd, our main event producer, who’s just unbelievable. He’s so talented. Eventually when I start hosting my own events, which is. On the plan, you guys so excited about it. When I start doing that, you bet I’m tapping Todd to help run and produce my events. Cause he’s amazing. I remember Todd just kind of like stopping me was running around like probably going from person to person, trying to prep them.

And he just said, Sally, just pause for a moment. He said, we just need to nail the beginning. The ending and the transitions. Okay. Let’s just focus on that. And I was like, okay, all right. He’s he’s the pro okay. Now his theory, which I have seen played out in proven again and again and again, and again, is that if you can nail those three moments, your beginning, your ending in your transition audiences kind of Forget about the rest. Hey, and here, we’re talking about how to be memorable on stage and part of what. Is underneath that intention is an acknowledgement that they will not remember everything. They can’t possibly remember everything. And so really the question for us becomes how can we set up the experience for them to remember the things we want them to remember to have the experience we want them to have to create the feeling that we want them to have and the bet and the between really, really do that.

Now, the bet you just heard me say it’s beginning. The ending and the transitions. If we focus on everything, we may end up with a mushy. Experience for our audience, rather than really focusing on the pieces that create the experience for our audiences. So we want to set up what is the most important elements of this and focusing in on the beginning of the ending and the transition helped me really let go of the rest.

I mean, not totally cause I, you know, I wanted it to be excellent all the way through, but a strong beginning builds trust. A strong ending leaves an impression, right? So it’s really, really important how you want them to leave that experience, what you want, what you want them to take with you from that.

And then the transitions are intention holding their attention and intention in those moments when they might be likely to let go and step out of it. And. In those moments, if we do not handle the transitions, well, it creates distrust and people kind of go and they step, they step back out of it. Okay. So beginning, ending, transitions, build trust, and it allows people to step in and be with us in that experience.

My dog has just come into the office. You can’t chew on that while I’m recording.

It’s like having a toddler. Hey, Mar. Can you call Bailey?

Sorry. Okay.

Now the second B that we’re focusing on that will help us be more memorable on stage. Now this applies in a virtual context as well, but I think it’s one of those things that when we’re on stage, we feel the gravity of this a little bit more, and that is.

The between.

So what happens between what we say is as important as what we say.

I think we all know this, but we forget about it sometimes when we think about preparing and wanting to wow. And feeling confident, we’re so focused on what it is that we say that we’re forgetting about what happens after these words, leave my mouth and go out into the world and like come into your ears and you take them in. There’s an exchange. There’s a co-creation that is happening in that. And it requires us to give some space to the, between.

Last week in our signature talk studio salon.

And if you don’t know what that is, the signature tech studio is my core program, where I help you write and develop and deliver your signature talk and then scale it so that you can show up in any moment and become known as the authority and the go-to in your industry by leveraging a signature talk, it’s such a powerful asset to have.

And as part of that program, we do these half-day salons. It’s an awesome chance for people to show up and workshop their talks. So they show up and share what they have and they get some feedback from me and they get feedback from other people.

It’s just, it’s awesome. It’s really an amazing experience. and one of my speakers last week, I had this moment where I was like, we need to give more space to the between. So many of my speakers have created these beautiful scripts, these powerful ideas and content in these moments that I’m like, oh my gosh, that is beautiful.

A mic drop moment. It’s just so, so, so good.

You guys, you’re going to be able to see these at the end of June, we’ll do our STS showcase.

But one of my speakers was just like flying through her scripts. Now part of that is like a nervous energy.

And part of it was a stylistic choice and, and there are moments where I really, really love that. But then there are moments where I’m like, Give us a chance. Give us a chance to let us take this in with you. We need a moment. We need a moment to just sit with that feeling and that experience.

We want to feel it with you. We really, really do. If you say something really powerful and then keep moving through it, my assumption is it’s not that important. So actually the between is one of the ways that we cue our audience in that this is something we want them to remember that this is important.

So it’s not just helping them remember. It’s also cuing them in to pay attention. It really does both. And so we want to think not just about what is it we say, but what happens when we’re not talking.

My very first speaker I ever professionally coached was the master of the pause, absolute master of the pause. And while the rest of my speakers, same length of talk. Like it was an 18 minute talk, same length. Their talks were like five to seven pages, but this man -he was such a master of the pause that his talk scripts were two, maybe three pages. Same length, but he knew how to let those moments breathe. Now there were some times where it was like, you gotta move through that faster. We gotta pick up the pace because if you, if you let every moment breathe and let everything be the same level of important, nothing is important.

And then we don’t have any idea what you want us to take with you. But our job as a speaker is to look at it holistically as like what’s the whole experience that we’re creating and then serving up the most important tidbits by using all these strategies so that we make sure they walk away with the ideas that we want them to walk away with.

Does that all make sense?

Does that feel vulnerable for you? It can feel really vulnerable to stand up there and just trust that you can keep them engaged with you without talking. For a lot of people. It’s like, I’m going to keep talking so that I can keep them engaged with me. And the truth is when you change tack either talking to not talking.

And then not talking to talking any change. We’ll pull an audience back in with you. So you want to be able to leverage that in between and let it breathe.

All of these together really help us own that moment out front and be the most memorable speaker we can be. Thinking about how we can help our audiences remember the things we want them to remember.

How many beverages do you have on your desk? Okay. That’s all right, so we’re here.


Sally Z

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